You work for NBC, and you need a picture of the Pope for a news story about the Pope's continuing decline in health. There are thousands of pictures to choose from, but there are also thousands of stories on the Pope, and you want something a little different. So you decide to search Google for images of the Pope. The first result of your search is a standard picture of the Pope holding a cross - none too interesting. But the second picture has the Pope making a funny face, which is interesting, and you might like to use that picture. So you click through, and that's when you come to my website.
Today I discovered that my website is the second result for a Google image search for "pope." I discovered this after I got a message on my phone from someone at NBC, who wanted to know where I got the picture from. I got the picture from a friend, who I suspect has long since forgotten where he found it. But that's not the important point here. The important point is that out of 122,000 pictures of the Pope found by Google, mine is somehow considered the 2nd most relavent. There's a lot of topics I think I know a lot about, but the Pope is not one. There's something wrong with any search engine that points people searching for the Pope to me. I am not the Pope. I'm not even sure that picture is really the Pope.
The current purpose of this essay is a discussion on the importance of irrelevance in modern life. Walls immediately spring to mind as an irrelevance to this essay. There is a tramp who sits every day down a street nearby and performs irrelevant actions such as scratching or picking his nose. This is a condition of modern man, where the twiddle of the thumbs or tap of the feet is a source of inappropriate contentment or pleasure. The tic of an eye is unnecessary, yet it can be used against the perpetrator as it could denote nervousness or psychiatric problems. Elephants are not notable for psychiatric problems, but my father once knew a mad elephant with bloodshot eyes and a maniacal temper, and this suggests that there is room for a field of elephantine psychological research.
Scientific tools become more expensive and specialised every year, and these days hospitals are unable to afford most of the equipment they obtain, such as MRI scanners. The last sentence would be paradoxically inappropriate were it not for the fact that paradoxes are popular elements of contemporary literary fashion. The word contemporary could apply to now or before, making it an ambiguous paradox in itself. Ambiguous has only one meaning listed in the dictionary but two interpretations. Interpreters tend to speak many languages and it’s not a job one sees advertised every day in the newspapers, so how do they find work? It is assumed that if one person speaks to another in a language they do not understand the words still carry relevance, but if the words are wasted to no effect, how can that be?
“Be” is pronounced the same as “bee”, yet one is an abstract concept that does not exist (yet it denotes existence), and the other is a common garden insect. The insect holds our attention for the moment as it seems the least relevant of the two to this current research topic. The moment has passed. Therefore, we now turn to the abstract concept “be”, which is such a thing as does not exist, and thus obviously of great importance to the language. The abstract is vital to modern language, useful in modern art, and it often denotes powerful feelings and sentiments. None of these can be measured, and as they do not exist, we must assume that they are irrelevant but nonetheless important. They play a vital part in the daily affairs of every human being on this planet. “Daily affairs” is a misnomer, as no one can repeat exactly the sequence of events from the previous day. It cannot be a generalisation, as lives change momentously from day to day, unless the term “generalisation” is accepted as wildly inaccurate. Generals are not noted for their accuracy - that is usually left to the soldiers on the field. Consequently, it appears that irrelevance has a very important role to play in modern life.
i like to say that your picture is not that smart
i think it is not so cool